James finished his first week of his P.O.S.T. academy, and we all survived...barely!!
To be completely honest, this week was rough. There were a lot of emotional flare ups, James was under a lot of pressure to perform and learn new things, I ended up getting sick and was in bed for several days...it was just all around rough! I am so glad that it is over though. We aren't able to see each other this weekend but are hopeful that we can figure something out next weekend for Savanna's birthday (Can you believe she will be 14?? She keeps reminding me that she can get her driver's permit in a little over a year...um...yeah...like I needed any more stress!).
It is so weird having my husband gone. The scriptures say to become one. I didn't realize until he left how that just happened for us so naturally. I really feel incomplete without him, like a part of me is missing. And I don't mean that in an unhealthy, codependent way. It's hard to get used to his absence, and part of me hopes I adjust quickly and part of me hopes that I always feel this sense of loss...does that make sense? Maybe we can find some middle ground through all of this! I did make a couple lists (because, yes, I am a "list person!"). One of them was projects or activities I hope to accomplish while he is gone. I want to finish my blog book for last year and catch up on this year, finish some sewing and home improvement projects, read some books, etc. I also made a list of things I hope to learn and improve upon while he is gone. While he is learning and growing through his studies and experiences, ultimately become better and stronger, I want to grow too. I hope to gain a lot through this time apart- more confidence in myself, more self-discipline, better habits, ripped muscles...it will be good. :)
James has been very busy but has managed to Skpe the kids almost every night. They're not super into Skping...I'm not sure why. Benjamin likes that he can see himself so he just makes weird faces the entire time. Bradley usually gets bored and wanders off after a few minutes. Savanna does her hair and stares at herself. The baby surprisingly is the most interested. She put out her hands to James the other night and touched the image of his face on the computer screen...that was kind of sad. Oh, did I mention that she took her first steps right before he left?? And, he was the only one who saw her! We've tried to get her to do it again, but no dice. Any day though she'll be toddling around...and then she will be running!
I am still working out. Before I got sick this week I took my exercise up a notch and started the next phase of my workout. I also started walking in the evening with Emma to burn some additional calories. It paid off- I lost almost 4 pounds (I think my sickness and stress helped a bit but, whatever, I'll take it!!)! I am officially back to my pre-pregnancy weight and even though I still a have a bit to go to my goal size, I feel like that is a huge achievement. :)
The boys have been working out with me too. Benjamin informed me that he had really big muscles. I didn't think much of it, but then the kid took off his shirt and flexed for me- holy crap! He DOES have big muscles! I asked him how he got them and in his usual fashion he responded, "Well...I do push ups in my bed every night!" It's working for him. :)
Since I was sick we watched some movies and caught up on General Conference. I absolutely love listening to the prophets. I made my list of all the ways I wanted to improve and started to listen to the prophets and apostles tell me exactly how to gain those specific desires...seriously awesome! As hard as this week was in many ways, I really felt the Lord blessing and strengthening me. I also felt the prayers and good thoughts from my family, husband, and friends. I love you all and am grateful to have such a great support system. We'll get through this...and we'll be stronger than ever!
Emma finally likes her play set...I told you she would LOVE it!!
Oct 3 - 7, 2011
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